timetowrite88

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 18:23:27 GMT

hey everyone, Im updating on Xanga now, and the username is polkadots_and_baloons, so enjoy it everyone =)

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 05:50:29 GMT

Yay, good news, Emily has livejournal!!!! as the dean of admissions from Orange County would say, "that is neat" except he would also say "Shawn your my same height, that is neat" I have yet another friend, all the way up to like 5 now, wow I am popular, although its kind of funny b/c I had stuff in there like when I asked her to see that movie with me, I never thought she would read on my livejournal b/c I didnt think she had one (although im sure she already knew I asked her to the movie and didnt have to see it in writing)..........yeah anyway, I know more people with livejournal and im sure I could get them to add me but its like school I just dont apply myself to it =)

okay St. Louis trip, got a cool shirt that I have already told like 1/2 of the people who the read this about, the other two being in Wyoming or named Maggie. It has Dr.Mario on the front and it says "lets play doctor" then it also has the Nintendo logo, the store I got it at had a lot of cool shirts, but I liked that one the best. Lets see I also rode two roller coasters- batman and mineshaft, the other two there I was too chicken to do, but im improving. I also rode some pretty awesome water rides, anyone seen a commericial for the tornado yet?? big blue funnel thing, yeah I rode it, it was great. The baseball game was good too, high scoring and the Cardinals won, so yay St. Louis trip......

Since Ive been back (which is like a day) I found out I made a 27 on my ACT, which I am happy with, but hopefully can take it one more time and do just a tad better, and today I just totally did nothing, Im sick of doing nothing now, it was fun the first part of summer but now not so much.... luckily that will all change soon..... Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I am working for my uncle again to help him finish up a project then I guess I have the rest of the week to myself, I want to hang out with Emily b/c her parents will be back in town and that will be one of the few times we have before we go off to Build Bridges on seperate weeks. But yeah after next week is Bridge Builders for me, then Ill be in Flordia for like a week and a half, then when I get back I MUST get a full time job. (a full time, part time job is what I mean.... right now I have a part time, part time job =0) If I dont my mom will kill me or sell me on Ebay, if she can get a good value. So yeah thats the plan for the rest of the summer...its about to get busy I guess I should enjoy the slothfulness while it lasts

Tommorow I am going to Shelby Farms for that concert like I said, but I dont know who to go with, my mom and Galen are going, im not going with them, that would be too weird, sorry....... I keep trying to get a hold of Chase, Im pretty sure he likes Everclear, how long will that child be in Disney World??? grr, anyway I hope everyone is having a good day, bye =)

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 14:23:31 GMT

Well boys and girls, Im about to go off to the Lou, or as you white kids would say St Louis (Listen I watched Coach Carter and it hasent rubbed off yet) Anyway in all seriousness my dad and I are going to Six Flags and a Cardinals game, also to the throwing roll place, I love the throwing roll place whoooooo!!!!! I will also be watching the NBA Draft tonight from my hotel room as oppose to doing anything else, yeah.....Im a sports nerd. Anyway ive devised a list of things for me to do in the car ride, enjoy =)

1.sleep, straight up sleep, I need it I went to bed at 3 last night
2.Come up with a parody to Gwen Stefani's Hollaback Girl using Papayas,
P-A-P-A-Y-A-S
3.text message, although I suffered a severe injury to my text messaging finger playing tennis yesterday, we will see if doctors will clear me.
4.Start an imaginary conversation with another person and see if I can really freak my day out.
5.While stopping for gas or restroom break, go to every person in the gas station and ask for their autograph.

I love all you guys (that may be the paste talking) but I hope you have a great two days without me =)

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 05:53:32 GMT

I stole this one from Maggie, by the way start commenting!!!!! I gave you all the love in the whole world in my last entry and I need love in return (its what makes the world go around)

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1.Lutey of course
2. Luteybird
3. I guess my first name-Matt/Matthew (how did I get wrapped up in not having a first name?)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Luteybird2006
2. Tigersfan1212
3. Luteydatiger1212

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. eyes
2. dimples
3. height

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Im pale big time
2. Hair sometimes, it grows too quick, but looks bad short, so for like 3 days im golden
3. um....Im pretty hot...so....next

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Snakes
2. Mrs. Rush (Im leaving that one Maggie, see you 6th period =)
3. guns

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. drinking coke
2. getting on computer
3. that 70s show

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1.kakhi pants
2. white undershirt
3. um not that Im putting boxers for any other reason besides those are the only three things im wearing

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. The Goo Goo Dolls
2. Greenday
3. Weezer

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Beverly Hills-Weezer
2. Mr. Brightside-The Killers
3. I hate this question, I change everytime I hear another song, screw it!!.....=)
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. I know this sounds weird, but a girl who does like little things that make them seem like they really like you i.e like during a date if they randomly look at me and smile or say something nice about me the heck of it then that is just so awesome =) guys should do that too, but not to me of course.
2. Conversation flows and you can have fun together no matter what you are doing
3. Chemistry....and I guess a little Biology....but mainly chemistry.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. Ive never been on a first date other than a movie
2. Ive never been to the circus
3. Ive never been to a hockey game

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. good smile
2. shorter than me
3. doesnt look "fake hot" you know like with gobs of makeup and all that. or in better terms, confident with the way God made them!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. writing
2. listening to music
3. sports

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. run around the neghiborhood with my shirt off, screaming the British are coming, the British are coming (cmon guys sounds like fun, girls too, but without the shirts, WITH the shirts!!, but without the shirt factor of what I wanted to do)
2. get my mom off my case
3. see my friends- I have never gone this long w/o seeing Chase, not that I dont miss everyone, but Chase and I have been accustomed to hanging out together

THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. sports talk show host
2. sports writer
3. Probably if that doesnt work ill be at Fedex like my whole family =0

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON HOLIDAYS:
1.to sleep
2. all of Europe
3. Florida

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Lynn
2. Katie
3. Mr. Chips

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. fall in love, like not have friends that you love, b/c I do, but like see someone and just have it happen, I believe in love at first site.
2. get married
3. work for ESPN-or have my own sports radio show

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY LIKE THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. I dont like talking about cars, hunting, or how much I bench, I drive cars, dont hunt, and bench press like 500 pounds!!!! thats why I dont talk about it, afraid they will get jelaous.
2. I like to talk to girls more, and I dont have hte idea of "picking them up" on my mind, sadly I wish they were talking about sports
3. I think Cheerleading is a sport fools!

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. Alexis Bledel
2. Jessica Simpson
3. girl who won American Idol, Carrie

THREE PEOPLE THAT I WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
1. Alexis Bledel
2. The Trix Rabbit
3. the talking kool-aid pitcher (yeah I would, b/c I dont think a pitcher could use a keyboard)

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 16:40:24 GMT

Kaycee I added you!!!!! so Im like what 5 days late from what the perfect man would do, but I am also the forgetful man =) Also while I was journal absent I was thinking about paying tribute to all the new friends I discovered this past year, seriously awesome people.... first of all Lori Patrick, I had like five classes with her and sat by her in three so it was real easy to be friends with her. She is nice, she is easy to talk to, and she cares a lot about everyone, she has a very cool personality b/c she stays true to her values even though some of her friends just go out and party all the time and that is so cool! it was awesome getting to know her.... also my journalism friends Blake, Chelsea, Hannah N., McKenzie, Hannah K., and Maggie. We had a blast in that class =) Plus all of my friends that I already had, you guys rock.

Okay guys ive been addicted to bored.com, ive been at this site called jumptheshark.com that I found on there and im hooked. It might not appeal as much to you guys b/c It is about T.V and I watch a lot of that. Also I've been at all this quizsites and guess the tv show or movie name site, also all these forwards that have top ten lists, like top ten cool things to do at a bowling alley, wal mart etc. I really need someone to pull me away for it. On a sad not Lorenzen Wright is demanding a trade from the Grizzlies, I really dont want him to leave, but Im thinking about creating my own sports web page as a project this summer.

I could rant forever about this crap, but my mom and Galen are both mad at me b/c I refuse to "be friends" with Galen, and open up to him like a dad. Oh cow I dont open up to my mom like a mom or my dad like a dad, let alone this guy. Then my mom says she would rather Galen be at my cousins wedding than me b/c he is nicer. Well guess what he is going and if no one but me can understand why that is akward for me and Im mad then you dont understand the situation. Especially b/c no one bothered to tell me, I found out. Like Kayla said im introverted and I dont like talking about serious subjects, I cant do it b/c Im so emotional I cant keep talking without getting swept away by whatever emotion i.e anger, happiness etc. so I prefer to write it down, and if my mom and Galen dont get why I wont open up to them, sorry it wont happen.

Anyway on a lighter note, Im going to Liberty Land with Kaycee to ride a roller coaster!!!! Kaycee Im so nervous the closer it comes, I so need you there, but Im glad its going down, b/c I have to get it off my to do list. Also Im going to St.Louis with my dad to see a Cardinals game, and to visit U of M (Missouri). Finally, Emily and I are going to the Shelby Farms 4th of July concert, on the 2nd of July and Everclear is going to be there, and we both like them, I cant wait. Wow long entry, guess I was finally in the mood to update, well peace out all =)

Thu, 23 Jun 2005 07:53:50 GMT

well Chelsea has done so many more of these than me..... lol im kind of boring, and some of these only apply to girls so I just ignore them

() snuck out of the house
() gotten lost in your city
(x) saw a shooting star
() been out of the U.S.
(x) had a serious surgery-when I was like 3
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
() had alcohol
() pushed all the buttons on an elevator
() made out in an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
() been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
(x) broken a bone
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) faked sick to get out of school
(x) saw a therapist
() done the splits
(x) played spin the bottle
() gotten stitches
() had an IV
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
() bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
() gotten the chicken pox
() crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
() ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
() shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(x) stole something from your job-is that shoplifting, guess not, two questions and all
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
( ) been to Africa
(x) Driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
() Seen Napoleon Dynamite
() Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
() Met someone in person from the internet
(x) Been moshing at a rock show
( ) Cut yourself on purpose
() Been to a moto cross show
() taken painkillers
(x) like someone right now

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:45:39 GMT

well I know its been a while sense Ive updated but here is what has being going on with me since school has been out

1.went to FESJC (Fedex St. Jude Classic) Golf Tourament, and I know what you all must be thinking if you were going write out Fedex St. Jude Classic anyway than why did you write FESJC

2.Ill let you know when I do something else =)

3.Just kidding- ive been hanging out with various friends and doing a lot of stuff at my church, Bible Study, pool parties, film night, dodgeball night, cool stuff like that

4.looking for a job, Im working for my unlce this whole week and making a lot of money but I still need to find one after that, but the good news is ill have gas money for a good long while after this week =)

5.and the best of all.... I asked someone out on a date =) she went to bridge builders with me and her name rhymes with watermelon........ okay so it doesnt but that wasnt what you were expecting you were expecting for me to say rhymes with kenliy or something like that, but I got news for you, thats not a word so the jokes on you. Anyway so I found out Emily and her boyfriend broke up and I really like her so I decided to take a chance and ask her if she wanted to go on a date with me and said yes, that made me very happy
6.thats about all kids, good night, and God bless =)

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 13:24:30 GMT

My mom took away the internet b/c she got mad, so Im updating at school. Its a lot of fun, she is really mad at our journalism class right now, and everyone is equally mad at her, but anyway yesterday was my birthday and thank you guys for my cards, my birthday was so good =) I got a bunch of money and some clothes from my mom as gifts. We went to eat at O Charley's with my mom and grandmother and Galen. Then I rushed to Walgreens to buy 6 seniors at my church candy and I wrote them notes (it was senior night at my church, goodbyes, memories, and I wanted to do something to say thank you for making me feel so welcomed at 2PC) so I bought them candy and wrote them notes about what they meant to me as friends, and they loved them, and it was cool. They showed a 15 minute video at the end with pictures and it was so amazing to watch, all the senior girls were crying, and there were hugs and Im glad im friends with them =) Anyway nobody remembered it was my birthday at church but that is okay b/c a lot of people did at school and that night was about them. I think thats about it, I guess I can update at school if I want to, bye guys =).

Wed, 20 Apr 2005 05:53:10 GMT

Summer is going to be great, I need to catch up with all my friends, I feel really distant right now but thats only b/c Im so far behind in everything, but im staying positive because negitivity will only make it worse and despite all the tiny little things that happen each day I still have every reason in the world to be happy. Okay this Friday is ECS' prom which is outside in a tent (yeah I dont know) but anyway the next Wedensday is my Birthday and senior night at our church, and of course almost all of my friends are seniors and it is going to be sad. Lucy decided she is going to Baylor, thats cool! I did end up with a guy fitting my tux, it was weird, and the dressing rooms had the little "window doors" that you could see holes through and people were there, but I got it done, once again proving that I am the most unorganized person in the whole world yet is asked to keep up with so much stuff. Funny story I walked into the back room of the store where all the tuxes were b/c I thought you went there to look, so I just strolled back there and everyone was looking at me funny, then I realized that the normally dressed teenagers actually worked there and were not normally dressed teenagers. I took pictures for at a tennis match and they are going to be used for my article. Ive never done photos before, I thought that was cool. Anyway I need to go to bed now, =)

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 03:56:53 GMT

Um if you highlight it, it will show up =)

Your Linguistic Profile:

50% General American English

25% Yankee

20% Dixie

5% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 06:23:15 GMT

Hey everyone, im back, I finally feel better again =) the last few days havent been so hot, but I think due to some drugs im feeling good again. My plan is once I get back is to turn over a new page.... actually an old page.... recently ive been lazy, I can barley make it to school on time, ive been doing good on tests but I havent been doing all of my homework, and really havent been trusting God. Its so much easier when you give things over to God and I had been trying to do everything by myself and I think I just ran out of gas and got sick. However, I think now that realize how much God cares and will always be there I can go back to functioning like a normal human again. I got tired of rushing to make it to school on time and other stuff like that, I have this weird feeling like all this time has passed, its weird but I feel so behind on people, work, everything, and I probably am, but I dont want to be all worried about it, so anyway goodnight. Send me comments and tell me that you missed me or something like that...... I missed you guys (while I was awake, which reminds me I had some crazy dreams) anyone who enjoys analyzing dreams tell me what this means...... 1st dream I am babysitting a girl and she is outside riding her bike, then she crashes into a bush and I come to pick her up and the bush turns into a house and while were in the house we cook a chicken.... 2nd dream Hannah Atkins and a girl from church who have never been at the same place at the same time together knock on my door holding a fire hose and tell me we have to put out a fire..... 3rd dream I walk into the 80s prom and everything is in slow motion (that I can believe b/c it would be cool and I was thinking about the 80s prom).... 4th dream Mary Kathryn (yes her) and a pirate come to my house to watch tv and then I wake up. Anyone else think Im crazy.

Wed, 13 Apr 2005 21:40:25 GMT

Alright Im not the happiest camper in the world right now. I was supposed to go to school early to get help with math, my mom says last night "what time do you want me to wake up?" I said about 610 but make sure you wake me up b/c Im not going to set my alarm. I wake this morning and it is 1100! I look and my mom is still asleep and she wakes up, sees what time it is, and yells at me for not waking up in time. I said but you told me you would wake me up, she says "what are you three, I shouldnt have to wake you up, your old enough to do it yourself" and now since I didnt go to school and I yelled at her about it (I know I could of gone once I woke up but too much of the day was already gone and I had strep throat over the weekend and I cant stop coughing, plus Im so sick of school its not even funny) I cant go to the 80s prom tonight I was really looking forward it, so Im kind of sad right now.......... Although not only am I going to Briarcrest's prom now, Im going to ECS' prom too =) I called Lucy today and she asked if we could go to hers too, I was like two proms in two weeks (I dont even like dances) but I like Lucy so I said yes =) Actually im really happy about it, but I wish I was going tonight, she would be there, and it wouldnt be a date, and it would be less pressure and more fun. Oh well..... I got my hair cut kind of short yesterday, I like it. Bye everyone.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 03:49:07 GMT

Dude I almost forgot, I got a pink balloon and its awesome. Who knew that balloons could be so much fun, I mean I cant stop playing with it. Man, my mom could of saved so much money on toys when I was younger =)

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 03:47:16 GMT

Tonight was fun... and weird but mainly fun. Lets go to the weird first, our game was helium kareoke, people tried to inhale helium from baloons and sing at the same time. It was scary b/c two people couldnt handle the helium intake, and while they were singing they started to drift to different sides of the stage, and they kept shaking and make weird faces, so yeah that was crazy, they were fine afterwards.

=) Now the fun part. So Meg orders me "do not leave this building until you ask Lucy to prom" now I dont have 140 bucks, a tux, or dancing skills but that didnt seem to matter, lol, I just had to ask her. So, one problem, we cant find her anywhere, so I finally see her as she is leaving, and she waves goodbye to me which was really weird b/c I had to ask her to stop, and i did, and I asked her, and she said yes, so yay im going to prom now. Im also going to see the Wizard of Oz tommorow at ECS, and im a happy camper, goodnight all.

Please people, this is no fun

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 23:50:36 GMT

Okay Im tired of all the "journal bashings" going on here. What happened to the days when teenagers had fun and wernt on a soap oprea. You know, I got thrown off by the timing of when Kaycee started the quote, and said something about it.

Wow and the next thing I know I have a journal entry saying something mean about me, and two comments saying something mean about me. I said something about "a subject" you guys said something about "a person" and it hurt my feelings, because you dont seem to understand that I would do anything for you two, thats why I worried about you having a safe trip and I offer to throw your trash away... Im trying to show that if anyone ever needs me to do something for them, im more than happy too. I just dont want to lose two good friends, but Im not happy here about the "sides" that have been formed. Kayla gets an awesome from Kaycee for just writing a journal entry about the same chapel she was at, but if Kaycee wanted me to drive to starbucks right now, buy her a drink, and bring it to her, I know thats not a good example, but I just want you to be happy. Same with Kayla, its like I try so hard to make my friendships better, and I keep getting people mad at me for it.

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 04:58:36 GMT

Its weird I want to get some things worked out, but I dont want to make people mad, but Ill keep it short

-too many pronouns at lunch, cant really talk about stuff I dont know about
-if your parents dont give clear answers, then how could you go to a different church the very next week? did they give you a clear one the next week? It would have meant a lot to me.

Thats about it, good news now, I won in tennis today, Im still undefeated this year, Lucy wants to go to prom with me and I think I will ask her, I was telling Meg how I wouldnt want to spend my senior prom looking at me being akward all over the place, but hey Ill take it. Taking the ACT the Saturday then going to the bridge builders thing.

New Word: Saliared (verb) when Saliar slams the ball back to an opponnet in tennis

Quotes of the day
(We drew a hitler mustache and sideburns on William Bateman with a sharpie)
Trip: Hey Bateman, why dont we call Mr. Simpson over here and show him the drawing on your face
Coach Hasseltine: Hey Trip,why dont we call him over here and show him the drawing on your leg (Trip has a not so allowed "drawing" thats kind of stuck on his leg and arm,....... why he were long sleeves)
Trip: That hurts coach

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 07:58:08 GMT

lol, Kayla I had to one up you on the lateness of the journal entry, I did cheat a little bit though, with daylight savings time and all, right now im listening to some music, anyway hope I can wake up for church =)

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 04:59:02 GMT

Its been a while since Ive updated, but really there hasnt been much to write about. Ive sort of been just going through the motions of life as of late, which isnt good at all. You only have so much time to spend with people, so I want to feel like im actually doing something. But really things are going good, im doing really well in school right now and tennis is back and ive gotten a lot better so yeah.........

I guess I decided to update b/c of church tonight. Justin, the guy who usually just leads worship, spoke for the first time to our youth group. I just never thought that I could relate to what someone was saying so much, it was amazing. He has had the exact same background, struggles, everything, its crazy, and I guess I could go into detail on what he said, but its late, I just wanted to say it helped me a lot.

Oh! oh! oh! I had an idea =) Im going to do this thing when I update, favorite song lines and quotes from the day, b/c I love remembering what songs I listened to and what people say, and this is a good way to remember it.

Favorite song line- "Lord, we the redeemed shall remain strong, in purpose and unity."

Favorite quotes- (during closing prayer) Todd: Thank you for the people here tonight, and the worship, and the crazy peanut butter stuff" (it had to do with the game, but during a prayer to hear crazy peanut butter stuff was great)

Rainey: Lutey, Drew isnt the jelaous type, can you help me fix that?"
Me: Sounds like fun, but how?"
Rainey: saranade me, right now, in front of Drew, saranade me"
Drew: "I need to find better people to spend my time with"

Catherine (to me): Yeah Im doing the makeup for the tinman for the Wizard of Oz play ECS is putting on.

Meg: (later on telling me about Catherine in the play) "Shes playing Dorthy!!"
Me: (cracking up) um, she just told me she was doing makeup, thats a big difference!, but we will just say you were close (wink)
Catherine: "well I did try out for Dorthy"
Meg: "See I was close"

Alright Im done, goodnight everyone =)

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 23:53:15 GMT

I wish I had something intersting to say but I dont. Um, lets see, Monday I downloaded a whole bunch of music. Got some Greenday, White Stripes, Maroon 5, 3 doors down, Relient K, Craig David, Kanye West, Tenacious D, Switchfoot, so forth and so on, you get the drill. I have very diverse range of music likes as you can see. Also I went out to eat with my Grandmother, Aunt, Cousin, and my Cousin's girlfriend, who I am more and more convinced is the coolest person ever. I think my cousin should try and hold on to her. I found a person who she knows too, and it was Amy, but Amy Webb, who she also kind of looks like, its a mix between the two Amys. Anyway, the little student council speeches are tomorow, and heres what I think is going to happen. Daniel will win president which is good, Trey will win vice president which is good, Tyler will win chaplin which is good, I hope Jenna wins Secretary, I know im voting for her, I hope Warren wins student activities and Alishea wins community relations, but it will be close. I havent been to church in a while so im looking forward to tomorow. Two weeks ago was spring break, they didnt have it, and last week was everything with my Grandfather so I hope everyone still knows who I am =) I guess I'm done, see everyone later.

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 23:37:43 GMT

Matchbox 20-Mad Season
I like this song, but the lyrics dont do it justice, I decided to put it on anyway =)

I feel stupid - but I know it won't last for long
And I've been guessing - I coulda been guessin' wrong
You don't know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
Does that whole mad season got ya down

I feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes
And I've been changin' - think it's funny how now one knows
We don't talk about - the little things that we do without
When that whole mad season comes around

So why ya gotta stand there
Looking like the answer now?
It seems to me - you'd come around
I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though I've never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season

I feel stupid - but I think I been catchin' on
I feel ugly - but I know I still turn you on
You've grown colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
Will that whole mad season knock you down

So are you gonna stand there
Or are you gonna help me out?
We need to be together now - I need you now
Do you think you can cope
You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
Bleeding and broken - though I've never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season

Now I'm cryin' - isn't that what you want
And I'm tryin' to live my life on my own
But I won't no
At times - I do believe I am strong
So someone tell me why, why, why
Do I, I, I come undone
And I came undone
In this mad season

This one is for you Bob

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 23:47:47 GMT

Ive been sitting here trying to figure out what to say but I cant. I went to the Bridge Builders meeting this morning and after it was over I got a call from my Mom who told me my Grandfather had passed away. I didnt see it coming, I thought he was doing better, but he had another stroke last night and then God decided it was his time to go. At first when I found out I was kind of in shock, its hard to believe he is gone. Our family spent the day reading notes that he spent so much time writing for us after he was gone. Just a summary of his beliefs and the way he wanted to be remembered. He doesnt want a funeral, he doesnt want people to be sad. He said he wanted us to gather together around jazz music and be with the ones we love, so thats what we are going to do. I thought I should just talk about how wonderful he really was. He was so different, quiet and reserved, but as hard working and smart as could be. He didnt expect to much from others but expected the best from himself, and he was the best. He liked jazz, cards, his dog, and seeing pepole happy. I never got to talk with him about religion, but I read today that he was a Christian, but never talked openly about it b/c that is just the was he was. I almost feel selfish talking about my problems after knowing that someone is dead, but I dont know what to do anymore. I know no one can see me so that dont know what emotion is written behind the words. But right now I'm crying, balling, and my feelings are hurt worse than they ever have been. I know my mom took it hard, but she doing something to me that no one should have to go through. For no reason she just told me that I was responsible for him having a stroke, and that I was selfish for never visiting him (even though she told me not to, b/c he looked so bad) and that was disrepsectful to him his whole life and now I cant change it. (im still crying just having to type that again.) Why is trying to make me feel guilty? Im just not strong enough to take it, its bad enough that I have to deal with his death, but the words that she is saying to go along with it, I just need someone, b/c right now im sitting here with no one to turn to with my problems, I need someone to be there for me.

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 04:16:55 GMT

Journal? Keyboard? Mouse? These are all strange to me now =) I havent been in front of this thing since Wedensday; actually ive been at my dads house (well with my dad, mainly at the Fedex Forum or eating =) Man! I am on such a basketball burnout; check this out in four days I saw 11 college basketball games. That was great and the games were good and Im so grateful for my dad paying for me to go. Memphis needed to win to make it into the NCAA tournament and they made it to the finals aganist rival Louisville like I said would happen. Now I dont know if you saw the ending but its almost too painful for me to talk about. Both teams played amazing (the best basketball game I have even seen) anywho Memphis guard Darius Washington gets fouled on a three point shot with NO time left (Memphis is down one) if he makes all 3 the Tigers win and go to the NCAA Tournament!!!!! If he hits two its okay we could still win in overtime! butttttt in front of everyone he misses his last two and the Tigers come up one point short =( Now looking back they could of lost the FIRST GAME by a million points and the same thing would of happened (still not going to the NCAA tournament) I felt so bad for him, and the fans were either crying or yelling (I was silent, if you know me, when Im the most upset, im quiet) Anyway I guess I was in shock, but what is done is done, no reason to think about it. I saw on T.V that Illonis Head basketball coach's mother died yesterday; he put it perfectly "It just makes a win in a basketball game seem so pointless, family is everything" So it was just a game and its time to talk about something else =) (haha, you know, I wonder if people just skip over when I talk about sports, man I love sports =)

-So whats been up with me you may ask? I do even know if anyone cares how Ive been; but Ive been thinking about my friends; only thing that is good about coming back to school, see ya Monday

-three cheers for hygine; I got a new shower curtain yesterday as oppose to my old, falling apart, nasty one. It has that new shower curtain smell and everything! Ive taken 3 showers since yesterday it is so great =)

-I watched Briarcrest on the Knowledge Bowl; I called up Andrew during it b/c he was out of town and he wanted to see it, but he forgot it was this Saturday; he was kinda mad but I did let him hear his voice. Omg if anyone else saw him he is so funny. When they were interviewing him, his eyes got all bugged out and he looked nervous. But they were asking him about a physchics project and he goes "Well were looking at shooting anything as small as tennis balls to maximum velocity" or something like that and it just sounded funny.

-I saw Trey Hobbs and Brady McGee at the basketballs game this week; I was breaking down some of the games for him and as I was doing that I realized that everyone knows Trey and his family. Like a million people stopped to say hi while I was talking to him.

-I cant really think of anything else, guess Ive just been doing sports related stuff. Ive really been thinkly about something in Bible though as all my teams have been losing and ive been losing and my mom is going crazy etc. Sorry I was never in Bible drill and Im very forgetful so I dont know where it is found. It is about rewards being in Heaven and not Earth. Dont look for Earthy things to give you satasfaction; but Im quickly finding out they havent been; it is so much easier when you focus on God; things seem to come easier, why struggle so much the other way?

-Anyway my spring break has been good and im about to get online and talk to all these people cause it seems like forever since ive talked to anyone so bye =)

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 08:24:30 GMT

100 Years by Five for Fighting

"Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live"

2004 was about thinking and reflecting - but isn't every year?

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 21:39:02 GMT

heres the second one, im on a roll baby =) Oh and disregard the drugs part.

You Belong in 1968

1968

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 21:32:24 GMT

You know..... I really dont think this is for guys, but oh well Im bored, and Im about to take like five more so Im gonna put it on here.

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

ke 5 more so yeah Im going to put it on anyway.